I heart Louise.

On the subject of happiness, I have to mention how much I love Louise L. Hay. For those who don't know her, she has written many books on the power of positive thinking. She believes that "every thought [we] think and every word [we] say creates [our] future."

There are several things I like about this idea, the first being that we actually do have control over our own thoughts, including how much someone else's words or actions can hurt us. Being a bit prone to a brooding state of mind, I've spent countless moments (hours, days, months) in my life absorbed in cyclical thoughts about negative experiences. I used to quite frequently replay the tapes in my mind of previous conversations, especially with people whose words and/or actions had hurt me. And--as Greg Allman would say, I'm no angel--I also spent a lot of time experiencing an excessive amount of guilt over things that I had done or said that had (often inadvertently) hurt others. Once I had children (especially since I had three children in four years), this tendency became somewhat diminished, simply because of the decreased amount of time I had available to spend on wasted thoughts. A couple of years ago, I discovered Louise, and I slowly began learning how to regain control over my negative thoughts. And that, as they say, has made all the difference.

Some people believe that the power of positive thinking is just a naive and Pollyannaish belief system, while other articles I've read indicate that it is, indeed, scientifically verifiable (especially as it relates to the placebo effect, for example). I know from my experience that it makes me feel better whenever I find myself lost in negative thoughts, and am suddenly able to flip the switch to something positive. And so, whether it's scientifically verifiable, or just dismissible New Age dogma, it's as real to me as the notion that exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which has been scientifically proven to help depression.

A couple of thoughts on positive affirmations. I think that when most people hear about doing positive affirmations, they imagine someone sitting in the lotus position in meditation, diligently reciting daily affirmations. But, as Louise will tell you, everything we say or think is an affirmation. She believes that "all of our self-talk is a stream of affirmations," and that we are "affirming and creating [our] life experience with every word and every thought." While many people hear the term "positive affirmations" and run the other way, or conjure up images of the hilarity of Al Franken's Stuart Smalley character on Saturday Night Live, I'd like to stand up and say that positive affirmations have come a long way, baby. The idea of practicing positive affirmations is simply a mandate to be more mindful of your negative thoughts, and to work on retraining your mind to think more positively instead. Who can argue with that? It's a call to be 100% accountable for your own life, both the good and bad experiences. To eliminate blame; to find forgiveness; to choose love and peace whenever possible.

My favorite Louise Hay book is I Can Do It: How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life (a small book that comes with a CD in the back (read by Louise) so that you can listen or read).

After two years of listening to her, I can say that I have less of a tendency to brood, and, while I still have my moments of doom and gloom, I am far more capable of cycling through it and getting myself back on track before I hit rock bottom than I ever was before. Each time, I make a conscious decision not to ride the downward spiral like I used to.

Here's one of my favorite quotes from her. She recommends that whenever you have a problem, you repeat over and over:

"All is well.
Everything is working out for my highest good.
Out of this situation, only good will come.
I am safe."

My sister listened to I Can Do It recently, and, when I asked her how she liked it, she responded, "It was great. She made me feel like I could do anything." I know from experience that this feeling can be illusive and fleeting, but I believe that she can do anything--so can we all. And for that newfound sense of knowing that I Can Do It, I offer up a giant serving of gratitude for Louise.

(Image from Louise Hay's book, You Can Heal Your Life).